Sunday, July 29, 2007

Although I know that love is about feeling, but I believe love is about thinking as well. Formerly I thought that break up is not the end of everything, it is true but it does also an end of something. I can smile with my heart bleeding, I can cry without any single tears, and I can talk nicely to whom I hate. Am I fake? No, I am just trying how to be nice, respect people and be patient. I had tried facing all of this, but people have a limit, so do I

She was my girlfriend, AT FIRST she was a really nice girl, cool and so on, BUT something odd unexplainable (she said “no one can understand what I feel!!” suddenly I stoned for a while coz I was thinking “wait a minute, is this some kind of a Mexican drama or something? She must get that word from a movie”) happened to her; she somehow trying to make clear how she can lose her feeling to me. From what she explained there are few possibilities might happen and made some destructive change to my x-girlfriend, some fathomable reasons might be because:

~ Brain washing? [ups...I wish I could prevent it, sorry, I am neither a geneticist nor policeman yet] Possibility 10%

~ Too many assignments where she had to handed-in at 2am? [waw.. she is a hardworking girl, but don’t be stupid, her friends can survive without losing their feel to the one they love, why she can’t?] Possibility 20%

~ My mistake coz I didn’t keep in touch with my x as often as I did when I was still in my country? [ couldn’t be, it’s really obvious, I know something and she know what she did] Possibility 35%

~ Her bad because she accepted me before she knows who am I and she only decided later? [I Wish I could know who I am in her perspective, a good looking “monster”? an experiment bunny? a fake perfectionist guy? Only God know] Possibility 50%

~ Existence of the 3rd person? [Congratulations if this is the reason, coz at least I know out there, there is someone better than me for her] Possibility 50%

Whatever her reason are, I love her and hope she has a good life and smooth carrier, I started knowing her from a friend and I am back becoming a friend, a simple normal friend.

I realize that It is an end for something but also a start of something new, someday !

I am Giann Ailmar, typing my new blog with a new set of cordless keyboard and mouse =)